Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Our digital teams update newsletter
Not normally something to inspire you to read on but here is this weeks digital team's newsletter from our business:
Due to an event that defies description, this month’s DIG update has been switched with a DIG team from a parallel universe. Sadly there is no time to correct the problem so we’re just going to have to run with this one.
The DIG (Danger Intervention Group) has been busy this month. Many situations have been intervened in and danger avoided:
Jo De Lange: As many of you will be aware, the prophesy that speaks of “the leader of the group” is coming to pass as Jo prepares for her Transition at the end of January. The physical changes needed to perform the Transition have begun which will explain any protuberances you might notice. Please don’t mention them. This month Jo has been instrumental in helping to intervene in some very dangerous situations indeed. Her assistance with the metaphysical cushions is most noteworthy.
Pete Blunt: The enhancements fitted at the beginning of last month have now swollen to their full size and Pete is now able to perform at higher altitudes and with more vigour than ever before. Land based activity is now almost completely non-existent and Pete can be seen most mornings gliding just above the second levels.
James Ball: The excursion to the inner rings of the outer rim have proved fruitful for Commander Ball who can report some success dealing with the multi limbed horn beasts of Hrangling Point. We all know the issues caused by these beings so any improvements to our relationship with them should help us avoid incidents in the future.
Nicholas Greenfield: Our time travelling friend has intervened in many dangerous situations and has managed to un-cause accidents that would have happened next month. In doing so he has saved the lives of some 37,000 Fellows. This brings Nicks tally up to almost a million Fellows this year alone.
Denise Rattray: Skills learned during her time in the legal time have been bought to bare in recent interventions with wandering gangs of scavenging monkeys. As you know, scavenging monkeys have been on the rise in the last 6 months and pose a particularly dangerous threat to commuters and other sub-intellect travellers. Denise’s work has managed to smooth the underways and cleanse some of the denser Paths.
Steve MacManus: Being turned into a glass of water last month has not deterred Steve in pursuing his intervention action points. Although his work is now slightly hampered by his new form, Steve has managed to intervene in several situations by spilling himself into the path of a rampaging Thnad (the beast then slipped and broke its neck) and allowed himself to be drunk by a thirsty tramp (on the brink of death by dehydration). We’re not sure on the whereabouts of Steve at present but suspect he is now waiting to pass through the tramp and make his way back to the office water cooler.
Richard Starr: managed to avoid a paper cut from a particularly vicious piece of A4.
Due to an event that defies description, this month’s DIG update has been switched with a DIG team from a parallel universe. Sadly there is no time to correct the problem so we’re just going to have to run with this one.
The DIG (Danger Intervention Group) has been busy this month. Many situations have been intervened in and danger avoided:
Jo De Lange: As many of you will be aware, the prophesy that speaks of “the leader of the group” is coming to pass as Jo prepares for her Transition at the end of January. The physical changes needed to perform the Transition have begun which will explain any protuberances you might notice. Please don’t mention them. This month Jo has been instrumental in helping to intervene in some very dangerous situations indeed. Her assistance with the metaphysical cushions is most noteworthy.
Pete Blunt: The enhancements fitted at the beginning of last month have now swollen to their full size and Pete is now able to perform at higher altitudes and with more vigour than ever before. Land based activity is now almost completely non-existent and Pete can be seen most mornings gliding just above the second levels.
James Ball: The excursion to the inner rings of the outer rim have proved fruitful for Commander Ball who can report some success dealing with the multi limbed horn beasts of Hrangling Point. We all know the issues caused by these beings so any improvements to our relationship with them should help us avoid incidents in the future.
Nicholas Greenfield: Our time travelling friend has intervened in many dangerous situations and has managed to un-cause accidents that would have happened next month. In doing so he has saved the lives of some 37,000 Fellows. This brings Nicks tally up to almost a million Fellows this year alone.
Denise Rattray: Skills learned during her time in the legal time have been bought to bare in recent interventions with wandering gangs of scavenging monkeys. As you know, scavenging monkeys have been on the rise in the last 6 months and pose a particularly dangerous threat to commuters and other sub-intellect travellers. Denise’s work has managed to smooth the underways and cleanse some of the denser Paths.
Steve MacManus: Being turned into a glass of water last month has not deterred Steve in pursuing his intervention action points. Although his work is now slightly hampered by his new form, Steve has managed to intervene in several situations by spilling himself into the path of a rampaging Thnad (the beast then slipped and broke its neck) and allowed himself to be drunk by a thirsty tramp (on the brink of death by dehydration). We’re not sure on the whereabouts of Steve at present but suspect he is now waiting to pass through the tramp and make his way back to the office water cooler.
Richard Starr: managed to avoid a paper cut from a particularly vicious piece of A4.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
