Norwegians have the idea of going for a walk or ‘tur’ instilled in them from an early age. This weekend I managed to get three different kinds of ‘turs’ ticked off the list of things to do in Oslo, further integrating myself as a Norwegian - Yes!
Firstly, a couple of friends took me out to view some of the local drinking highlights. This is invaluable in a new city, it cuts out a lot of wasted drinking time. I should say that this bar-tur wouldn’t actually be recognised as a Norwegian tur – going on a tur needs to be healthy and outdoorsy, it could be on skis, in a boat, or in the mountains. I like to think I put a British spin on it by making it involve drinking beer in dark rooms with loud music.
We went to The Nighthawk Diner, an American-style diner with great food and service and small booths you can sit in. This appeals to Norwegians who, as one of my companions for the evening put it: ‘Would hate the idea of going for a night out and actually having to be social.’
We also visited a bar where you can play old-school arcade games at your table like pac-man and space invaders (this bar also had booths to sit in). In a second room, which I only glimpsed on the way out, they also had a game played on long wooden tables that was something like curling. I have no idea what it was or what it was called but it without doubt the most exciting weird bar game I have ever seen in my life. Ceramic discs were spun slowly down an alley of wet wood with the aim of knocking opponents discs off at the far end. I’ll have to go back and play it and let you know what the hell it is. We walked back home at about 02:30, I guess that, as it was a walk, then it was technically a tur as well, but it might be better to call it a stumble.
A little worse the wear from my bar-tur the night before I decided a cycle ride would be just the thing to make me feel better. Not too sure where to go to on my road bike I decided to head for Holmenkollen, a famous ski jump in the hills above Oslo that is being rebuilt in time to be opened this winter. You can see it from the city centre so I figured I could get there without getting lost. I’ve mapped my ride here.
On the way there I fell in behind another guy on a road bike going at a similar pace. I tucked in behind him for most of the way. Having done this for about half an hour I started to feel a bit embarrassed about tailing him in silence. When you’re tucked in behind another rider they take some of the wind off you making it easier to cycle, so I was leaching off him. My cycling inexperience started to show: should I take the lead for a while? Introduce myself? Have a chat about cycling? Ask him if he was going all the way to Holmenkollen? I moved to overtake but as I came alongside him I got nervous and in the end I just smiled, said ‘Hi’ and sped off up the hill.
Holmenkollen is at 1200m elevation and we’d already been going up hill for a long stretch and I was tired, but having suddenly decided to leave this guy and take the hill I had no choice but to press ahead and make sure I didn’t see him again.
I made it to the top of Holmenkollen about ten minutes ahead of him. I know this because I nearly passed out at the top and had to stop for water and a banana. While I was doing that, sweating at the side of the road, he overtook me. He smiled at me in what might have been a triumphant sort of way. The lesson is: slow and steady wins the race. Unless you’re in the actual Tour de France and then fast and steady is probably better.
It took me about two hours to get up there and then twenty minutes to get down. I don’t have a speedo on my bike but I think it’s fair to say I may have broken the speed limit (although no bones) on the downward journey.
The third tur in three days was from our home in Sagene out to Mariasvannen, a reservoir close to Oslo. We followed the beautiful Akers river, but my mapping tool only lets me show you the closest road, see here. Akerselva dissects Oslo in along its North South Axis and we followed it away from the sea and out of town. There was a fine misty rain on Sunday, despite weather forecasters confidently predicting the best weekend of sunshine in the countries history but it made for nice walking weather, the whole place looked really luscious, green and beautiful. Within an hour we were outside of inhabited Oslo and looking at the huge expanse of Mariasvannen. I’m planning to mountain bike out there this week and take my fishing gear with me as long as I can work out how to buy a license from the post office.
In Norway they have a saying: ‘Ut på tur, aldri sur’ literally: 'Out for a walk, never sour'. I feel exhausted, damp and achy - but definitely happy.


